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Dancing Raise Me Up From Low Self-Esteem

From a dancer in Nursery to a lone dancer in the room to a host for silent disco dance in the street and now, to a free-flow dancer who are proud to share her dancing videos!

My Journey from Low Self Esteem to a Cosmic Dancer:
My love for dancing and performing has been ignited since I was 6 years old where I performed Chinese Fan dances, at first I thought I liked it because I get to wear make up and beautiful long shimmering dress. Until teen age, I realised dancing is one of my best way to release tensions.

As low self-esteem kicked in when I was 13 years old, I only dance alone in the room, feeling unworthy of showing up. I was in a Cheerleader club, not as a cheerleader but as the club treasurer. It did not occur to me to start dancing in public again until my first clubbing experience, I was totally into it and realised I really enjoy dancing. But that was under low lighting exposure, I am (still) very conscious of how I would move in front of others with tons of self-judgment on how I appear to others.

Forever grateful to dear Peter

The Significant Change
Not until 2017, I attended the very first ecstatic dance in Perth, hosted by the DJ who is a dear friend of mine, Peter. It was during his birthday party, he invited his tribe to express themselves fully with loads of mind opening heartwarming activities, one of it is dancing freely. We were wearing animal onesie and so we embodied the animal spirit and expressed it out. I learned how to just put aside self judgment, allow my body to flow as the music flows. Starting to close the eyes, focus on how I feel, to slowly daringly move the body. The experience was such a mind blown experience for me, after flowing indoor, we went out to the street and had so much fun! (Video on Facebook)

Since then, I started to attend more dance event from Dancing in the Dark to conscious tantra Dance to 5 Rhythms and, even started to host World Dance Day- Silent Disco in the street of Kuala Lumpur twice! (Trial Silent Disco video with friends) From having 3 participants to 30 participants the next year, leading the group to dance in the city centre. One important realisation is that, nobody really cares (to criticise) about how you dance, even dancing in the public, all I care about is how am I judging myself.

World Dance Day 2019 (silent disco) around the street in KualaLumpur

Someone asked me, “wouldn’t you mind how others think of you?”

“When I don’t judge myself, what others’ perception of me does not affect me. Because I accept myself as I am, that is all really matters!”, I replied.

One of the Misconception of Dancing:

Some might perceived that dancing must involved certain steps and footwork, yes, but not all. In this case, I would put the footsteps and rulebook aside, shifting focus to your heart, where it leads the body to flow. ‘Follow your heart’, it says. No thinking required too. It is a space where we deepen our heart connection to move the body, letting go of judgment and the should-or-should-not. You are here to express yourself, there will be no right or wrong, no standard to follow. Truly, from your heart-space.

My Invitation to You:

Everyday dance to a song at wherever you feel comfortable, one to three minutes of self expression would really boost your mood! When you feel good, life flows with ease, and you shall receive what your heart desires. Don’t take life so seriously, have fun, dance it out, laugh at yourself, move it-move it!

May you reclaim your personal power and regain confidence within by remembering who you are!

Dancing in circle,

Published by Abbhya 阿比亚 Pan Vic Qi

One sharing and supporting unity consciousness

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