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Shifting Powerlessness to Love & Acceptance

The self chatter (inner critic) could be the worst enemy as we tend to judge and critic ourselves. This is a gentle reminder to be easy on yourself, you did what you could at that moment. The question is how could we shift the mindset from seeing as ‘failures’ to life transforming lessons? From ‘I am not good enough (feeling powerless)’ to ‘I love and accept myself as who I am’ (reclaiming own power).

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This is a once-a-blue-moon sharing my personal journey on processing thoughts after receiving constructive feedbacks: (Note: I am open to share my lessons but I am not sharing to ask for validation or vice versa).

Since 2019, I have been setting intentions and sharing that (1) I am practising unconditional love to myself and others; (2) I am practising to express my feelings and needs; and (3) I am practising to show up as I am by giving what I could.

As the journey goes, there will be feedbacks with good intentions. Some constructive feedbacks I received which hit me to the core (ego-side perhaps): I was told that I have not been loving others unconditionally as I choose my circle to be with. I was told that interacting with me was like talking to a child, that I was not serious some or most of the time. I was told that I am in my comfort zone, in a happy bubble who has long way to go in life. I was told that the content I created was not up to a certain value.

So yes I am open for feedback, when there are feedbacks, I would start questioning and reflecting, “is this true?” Most of the time, I choose not to take things personally and respect one’s opinion. Sometimes, I would take it all in which lead to self doubt and self-criticism. Which is a normal process, I deem, letting it in, feeling the self-depreciating emotions, sitting with it. As it goes, at times, I can observe the thoughts, then at times, I would question “is this the projection from the other person?”.

There are times like “what others thought of me is none of my business, what important is how I see myself.” I do acknowledged each words and feelings shared to me, seeing it like a ball, someone pass me a ball with lots of comments on the ball, it is for me to decide if I want to take the ball in or just take certain comments which I deem I needed to work on. So I come into (an ongoing) realisation that, no one really knows or fully understand who you are (who I am), why I do what I do, even I myself have new self-discovery everyday, so I choose to only control what I can control – self alignment and keep being and doing what I feel it is ‘right’. And that is my focus.

So, here am I, after some time, aware that this is a lifelong learning journey, I forgive myself for not knowing best at that time, I love and accept myself as I am now. Still and willing to practise unconditional love, I am still practising in expressing my needs and feelings, and I am still practising showing up as who I am. Till recently, I am practising to ask and receive honest feedbacks, I would listen actively and then reflect upon myself.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and suggestions, I do appreciate your intention and courage in letting me know and I am sorry for your pain (if there are). I learn to process my emotions, to be the observer of thoughts and to express my feelings. Authenticity is the goal, well, of course I do appreciate feedbacks on the ‘brighter’ side too plus ways to improve myself and my creation. Let us compliment each other more and share our feelings honestly, okay? Lastly, be easy to yourself.

original

Self-pat**
From one who accept herself as who she is 

Published by Abbhya 阿比亚 Pan Vic Qi

One sharing and supporting unity consciousness

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