I am an addict.
I addicted to the emotions of lack, that I am not enough, I need validation from others to prove that I am enough. I addicted to the memories of the past, how I was hurt and unfulfilled. I addicted to the known where things are expected and predictable.
Because of the perceived lack-ness within, I was addicted to excessively consuming chocolate, snacks and sweets. Because of the perceived threat of criticism, I was addicted to the romance drama and entertainment shows to stop myself from showing up, so I could not get hurt. Because of the fight-flight-protection-survival mode is constantly on, I was my biggest mountain to cross-over to what I truly desired. Making me the biggest enemy of self, the attacker and the one being attacked.
But, I am thankful.
For these emotions of the past, which show me a repeated cycle, one which I am grateful for making me who I am today, yet ‘they’ do not serve my highest good. I choose to releasing it now. I forgive myself, forgive those whom I perceived have hurt my feelings, and let them go. Thank you for showing me how to love. I love you and I am moving on.
Now, I choose to focus on the vision of the future.
Investing in the unknown, where infinite possibilities are found. Feel as if the vision has already happen, marry the intention and be it. Enjoying the process of creation. Thank you for the opportunity to create dear universe.