Welcome to the first chapter of Becoming Self Full Series. There are many of us function at kindergarden level when we talk about handling emotions. There’s no need for self blame, because we did not receive enough education in dealing with feelings.
How do you feel now?
Ask yourself, “How do I feel?”
Sit back, relax the body, feel your feelings.
You may put your hands on the heart to feel from there too.
3 Reflective Questions:
- Which emotions have you experience in the last 24 hours?
- Which feelings do you experience most often?
- What feelings have I separated myself from?
Relating to Childhood Survival Choices
Many problems with feelings come from childhood survival choices, where our identities (false image, victimhood) are built over the years. Some of the experience during early age might causes us to suppress our emotions and we learn to ignore them until there were emotional blockage.
Do you know we have the upper limits problem? Where it is in our programming that we cannot feel good for a long time without experiencing negative feelings to bring us down. Check if you have a mental snapshot that happiness is followed by pain from childhood.
We Have Primary And Secondary Emotions
When something happened, the first reaction is the primary emotions like happiness, fear, sadness, anger. Some other basic emotions are: surprise, disgust, pride, embarrassment, shame, excitement. Secondary emotions are more complicated which relates to the primary emotions.
In Star Wars, Master Yoda explained secondary emotions perfectly – “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”
7 Commonly Repressed Emotions
The Taoists view emotions as information or energy. When something blocks this flow of information within the body, it creates energetic blockage or stagnation.
Specific organs relate to certain emotions. For example:
Instead of processing these emotions, most of us subconsciously learn to avoid them.
Avoiding feelings is the leading driver behind most of our:
- Neurotic tendencies,
- Compulsive behaviors,
- Addictions, and
To avoid feeling negative emotions, we pursue distractions and stimulations.
Recognise your feelings, here are some symptoms
“What you resist, persists”
Learning to Feel
- Whatever arises, allow yourself to feel.
- Give yourself time
- Honour emotions when they arise, instead of turning away, turn inwards.
- Be with it a little while
- Feel it without the need to act out or explore different ways to release
- Let yourself go through complete energy cycles
- Let others experience the completion circle
- Note: Be aware to separate your feelings from your parents.
“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” Thich Nhat Hanh
- Check in your feelings few times a day.
- Say it out: It is safe for me to feel all my (fear/anger/sadness).
- Feel the body sensation: Where do you feel (fear/anger/sadness) in your body?
- Write it out: When I feel (fear/anger/sadness), I want to ______.
- Affirm: My feelings and my needs are just important as anyone else.
“When a person is angry, he or she is suffering,”Thich Nhat Hanh
- Acknowledge others: ” I acknowledge your pain” or “I am sorry for your pain”
- Do not take things personally.
- Remember the Buddha and angry man story: This gift of yours, I will not receive.
- Feel good to attract good experiences and vibes around you, energy matches.
The Story of the Angry Young Man and The Buddha
It is said that one day the Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him, saying all kind of rude words.
The Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man, “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?”
The young man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”
The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.”
May you feel your feelings as when it arises and allow it to complete it cycles. =)
Watch The Introduction Video Here:
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Next: Chapter 2 Release Old Programmings
Most of our dominant beliefs (programmings) were developed since childhood, if it doesn’t serve your highest good, would you want ‘it’ to repeat or release it?